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Got Any Grapes
A duck walks into a bar and asks, “Got any grapes?” The bartender,
confused, tells the duck that no, his bar doesn’t serve grapes. The
duck thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns and says, “Got any grapes?” Again, the
bartender tells him that, no, the bar does not serve grapes, has never
served grapes, and, furthermore, will never serve grapes. The duck, a
little ruffled, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the
bartender begins to yell: “Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not
serve grapes! If you ever ask for grapes again, I will nail your
stupid duck beak to the bar!”
The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, “Got any nails?”
Confused, the bartenders says no.
“Good!” says the duck. “Got any grapes?”
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Three men, an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a
political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the
beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled
upon a lamp. As they rub the lamp a genie appears and says “Normally I
would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will
grant you each one wish.”
The photographer went first. “I would like to spend the rest of my
life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries.” The
genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas.
The journalist went next. “I would like to spend the rest of my life
living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money
worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the
Last, but not least, it was the editor’s turn. “And what would your
wish be?” asked the genie.
“I want them both back after lunch” replied the editor, “The deadline
for tomorrow’s newspaper is in about ten hours.”
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